We’re on week two in our new home. We’re still living in a sea of boxes, getting lost every time we leave the house, with our days looking something like this:

Being the new family in a new town has proven to be a different experience than I expected. I’ve found myself to be in observation mode, mostly because I don’t have tons of people to talk to just yet.

We go to the park, I watch moms and dads chatting with their friends. We go to the splash pad, I listen to families making Saturday plans with other families. We go to the store and I hear cashiers addressing kiddos in line by name. And I know our family will be right there with all of them soon enough. But for now, observing has taught me a really powerful lesson.

We have to start putting our phones down.

It doesn’t matter where I am or what we’re doing, as I look around, every single parent I see has a phone in hand or in front of their faces.

Moms scramble to snap hundreds of pictures in the pursuit of one perfect shot of their children frolicking across the splash pad with smiles and squeals and water droplets grazing their perfect cheeks.

Dads scoop up their littles and ask them to squint into the sun to get the perfect selfie to hashtag with #gooddad.

Friends stop whatever fun their children are having to huddle them all together for a group shot, shouting things like “Rylan, look at the camera!” “Emma STOP picking your nose!” “David stand STILL!” “Girls, smile like you’re having FUN!!”

But they were having fun. Five minutes ago before you stopped them to art direct the perfect Instagram photo.

I am genuinely concerned for our generation, and the next.

For parents, I think we’re cheating ourselves out of the biggest and best moments in life. Rather than enjoying and soaking in first birthdays and home runs, we’re flipping through friends’ posts, liking pictures of strangers, messing with filters and crafting funny captions.

For our children, I worry they will remember looking up during their biggest childhood moments to see their parents staring down at their phones.

The hardest part of my newfound observation is that I’m just. as. guilty. Sometimes it truly feels like something hasn’t happened unless I’ve posted about it. And as a lover of all things marketing and advertising, my posts all have to be within my own personal “brand”. (If you haven’t read this fellow blogger’s post about giving yourself permission to go off brand, I highly recommend it.)

Don’t think you have a personal brand? I bet you do. Look at your Instagram bio or Facebook page description. We moms seem to feel the need to craft bios to tell others exactly how we want to be perceived.  Things like “Runner. Photographer. Career Mama. Vegan. Lover of life.” And then we fill our feeds and pages with carefully curated examples that support that brand. That persona. All at the expense of actually enjoying those moments portrayed in silky Instagram filters.

My friend Kelly put it best… “I don’t have thousands of pictures of my childhood. And I remember it all just fine. I remember my parents being there. I remember being happy. No pictures necessary. ” Fair point. My children will not miss out if I don’t capture every moment. They WILL miss out on having me there. Showing up isn’t enough. I have to be emotionally present too.

So thanks to this newfound realization of mine, I’m making a few changes:

First things first. In the morning, the first thing I will do on my phone is my devotional. Period. No checking email. No flipping through social media. Devo and Bible time only.

Family time is unplugged time. I commit to only using my phone as a camera for the occasional picture, and will not post the photo in that moment.

The phone stays in the car. My coworker Katherine has tons of excellent tips for staying present, but one of my favorites is to leave your phone in the car when you get home from work. That time at the end of the day where the whole family is together is so precious. (And hectic. And fun. And exhausting.). Checking email and social can in no way improve this time. Protect yourself from the temptation and just leave it in the car.

Assigned social media time. I’m giving myself one 30 minute window per day to catch up on all things social media. Do you realize that even with 30 minutes per day for 365 days, it means I’m spending over 7 full days per year just on social media??? There are so many more impactful things I could be doing with this time!

So, lady friends, what about you? Are there changes you need to make to help you feel more present and your children feel more cared for? Join me. It won’t be easy (like breaking a habit). But it will be worth it.

To quote one of my favorite sayings, “Enjoy the little things, one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.”

#putitdown ladies. You won’t regret it.

-Lauren