After my hats entry was posted both here and on The Ruffled Mango, I received a lot of questions about one of my life hacks that I call SPS (Sunday Planning Sessions). These are something I developed over the years to help our weeks feel a little more intentional and a little less, um, “deer-in-headlights” if you will.

What are they?
Sunday Planning Sessions are 30 min to 1 hour sit-downs that my husband and I have each week. The purpose of these sessions is to get my husband and I on the same page logistically, mentally, and emotionally.

When do you do these?
Every Sunday night. It’s become a ritual that I really look forward to. We get home from evening worship, we put the kids to bed, we brew some coffee or tea, we put on the Mighty Oaks Pandora station, and we sit down with five calendars, three phones and two planners between us.

How do they work?

Want-To’s: To start the session, we focus on what we call “want-to’s”. First, we decide when we’re going to reconnect as a couple this week. Some weeks we actually schedule a formal date night in the city. But most weeks it’s smaller, like hibachi takeout and a movie after the kids go to bed one night, a little reading together, or a couples workout at the gym. Once that’s scheduled, we both put down one thing we each want to do for ourselves this week, for example mine are things like pedicures, a long run (2+ hours), or a mommy/daughter or mommy/son date. My husband’s are things like golf with a friend, a movie, guitar practice time, fishing with the kids, etc.

Once the want-to’s are in place, we move on to the have-to’s. This is by design. If you don’t start with the want-to’s, you’ll never have room for them. Ever. You have to start with what fills you up and helps you feel prepared to do all the things you’re responsible for. Then, with the want-to’s in place, you are much happier to shift your focus to the have-to’s.

Have-To’s: We look at all the calendars (church, work, school, activities, family) and talk about what we have this week. We divide who is doing what, identify any overlaps or conflicts and make plans. We also look at the upcoming month to make sure we’re ready for anything that needs a little more planning than just one week. For me, because I love checklists, I make a list of things I need to buy or mail or do. I’ve been buying and using the same paper planner every year since my first agency job out of college and everything I’m assigned gets written there, while also adding them to my Outlook calendar. Even things like exercise and date night get on the calendar. Otherwise they get scheduled over, and we find ourselves sacrificing them for something much less important to us. No thank you.

Prayer: Once we’re done, we cuddle up, pray about the week and the kids and just life, and boom! We’re done.

A note about weekends: One thing we have agreed to as a family is that weekends are pretty sacred. We’re all together and we want the time to be for memory making, and to be focused more on “want-to’s” than “have-to’s”. So first, we (try to) only commit to one event or commitment each weekend. It keeps us from spending all our time getting ready for, running to, and running from different things. Second, we get housework done throughout the week. This way the weekend isn’t spent getting frustrated at each other over accumulated messes or unfinished projects.

So there you have it. That’s the method that works for us. I can honestly say that having this session each week makes me feel a lot better about how we spend our time as a family. When you’re intentional about your time like this, it feels a lot less like life is happening TO you, are a lot more like you’re actually enjoying it.

Regardless of your methods, my wish for you on this lovely Sunday evening is that you feel prepared and capable for the week ahead. I know Sunday nights can be a bit daunting, the week is ahead, lots on your mind and to-do list. On most Sunday evenings and Monday mornings, I repeat Exodus 14:14 to myself to remind me it’s not about me. I hope the verse provides you with the same comfort for your week ahead:

Now lady friend, it’s late. Go to bed. The Lord is already fighting for you, and He has this week under control. Just be still.

-Lauren