I have a confession to make.

I love business travel.

I call this a “confession” because when I say it aloud to certain mothers in a group setting, I always get a few not-so-well-meaning women who say, “I don’t know how you do it. I would miss my children too much to leave them for my job.”

Now, I understand where these women are coming from. I love my children. But every mother needs a break here and there, and anyone who tells you different is lying. When I first started traveling for work many years ago, I used to feel these great pangs of guilt when a trip would be booked on my calendar, mostly because of comments like the one those ladies made above. Heck, I wouldn’t even wait until I was leaving for my trip to feel guilty. No no, the guilt started the day the company was booking my travel plans, as many as six months out.

Silly.

Many years later, after having spent so much of my career working with and talking to moms (both stay at home and working), I’ve learned that there are a TON of benefits to business travel. The biggest benefits?

Business travel gives my husband bonding time with the kids. Believe it or not, studies show the time away from you is beneficial not just for your husband, but for the kids. No, the hubby will not do things the way you’d do them. Teeth may only get brushed every other day and the kids may go to school wearing plaid shirts, striped shorts and argyle socks with flip-flops (That’s in now, right?). But they will be cared for, they will have fun, and your husband will have a newfound appreciation for all you do.

Business travel gives me time to reconnect with myself. Motherhood requires your all, all the time. Traveling or not. Working or not. And because of this, it takes a toll on your body, soul, and mind. Business trips have become my opportunity to reconnect with God, with myself, and to remember who I am outside of Lydia and Trey’s mom. Being a mom doesn’t mean you have to only be a mom, and I use these trips to catch up on devotionals I might be behind on, go for a longer run than I might at home, read magazines that have piled up on my coffee table (hello Real Simple) and going to the bathroom by myself. These things make me feel human again.

Now I know the benefits are all well and good, but it can still be hard for many working women to hop on a plane and leave the family at home. So how do you do it? How do you travel without all the guilt? Here are four tips from a traveling mom pro:

Use the time to reconnect with God.
How many times do you skip a devotional or a reading or a prayer or quiet time and blame the kids or circumstances around you? On a business trip, there is no excuse. Trips are a perfect time to study God’s word on the plane, on the train, in your hotel room, on a park bench. You can catch up on devotionals you’ve missed. You can read some of your favorite blogs and posts from Christian writers you admire. And you can have open conversations with God without the usual background noise. Talk to Him. He’s been waiting.

Make plans to do something just for you. 
Most of my trips are pretty jammed full of have-to’s, but there’s almost always time for at least one want-to. Maybe a run to the Golden Gate Bridge, a walk through downtown, a stop at a local tourist spot, a tour of a great art museum. Or maybe, just maybe, you can sneak in a nap. Or get room service, eat in your pajamas, and go to sleep at 8:00 p.m. Whatever is most rejuvenating for you. Do it.

Identify three guilt-busting things to do before you leave.
Before I leave on a trip, I make a casserole or some kind of dinner that the husband and children love that will last a few meals. Whether they decide to eat it or not, I know I’ve done my part to make sure they’re fed and cared for.

I also leave a little note of some kind on each child’s bed, and sometimes under my husband’s pillow. It’s short and cute to let them know I’m thinking of them and that I love them.

I make plans to do something fun together when I get back. Whether it’s a movie, a trip to a favorite theme park, a mommy/daughter or mommy/son date night, we plan something to look forward to and count down to. This way they’re not counting down to my return, but to our planned fun activity.

And finally, consider NOT calling your children. 
I know what you’re thinking. It sounds mean, cold and heartless, and your children will think you don’t care about them. Well… that’s not actually true. But let me tell you what will happen if you do decide to call or FaceTime. Someone on the other end of the phone will start crying because they miss you (maybe even your husband). Someone will melt down. Someone will yell or get yelled at. Someone will have a problem they swear only you can solve in person. I remember Trey once got a bloody nose WHILE FaceTiming with me by running into a door frame. And you, lady friend, will feel awful, because guess what, there is nothing you can do about what is going on back home. Nothing. You will get off the phone feeling guilty and helpless and terrible. Plus you have now created an ugly situation for your husband, because prior to your phone call, your kids were perfectly fine and now they’re a blubbering mess. I’m telling you, don’t do it. It’s good for no one.

If you really want to do something to let your children know you’re thinking about them, record a video and send it to your husband to play for the kids. Sometimes I record a message, sometimes I record my children’s favorite bedtime songs for them to hear before bed. And my husband will send me messages back that feature happy kids smiling, laughing, and acting goofy with dad. WAY better than the alternative.

In the end, the phrase “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is timeless and clichéd for a reason. Use the time away right, and you’ll actually return to your family more spiritually grounded, rested and refreshed, a better version of yourself. Ready to take on motherhood again. No guilt required.

-Lauren